It has been awhile... a long, long while. 2008 has been a whirlwind of ups and downs and very few steady handed moments. I feel as if I have been on a year-long roller coaster ride. Not all bad, not all good, but definitely extremes of both. In the past year, there were moments I was sure I was going to be a widow. The first three months of 2008 were terrifying for me  In the past year, there were moments of despair and loneliness like I have never experienced before. I faced battles with myself that I have never encountered before. In the past year I have gained and lost more friends than I have in a lifetime. I have found myself weary of friendships. I do not want to trust. I am nervous to know people and their deceptions. On a positive note, I have seen my son enter 1st Grade and start loving reading!! I have traveled overseas!! I have attended the most beautiful beach wedding I could ever want to see!! I am loving family and all that it means to me. I have never been more in love with the concept of family and all that it can mean!!

For those who know me it would be stating the obvious to say: I am an extremist. This past year has taught me a lesson in mellow. My New Year's Resolution is: to be more mellow. Take life as it comes and accept it-- go with the flow. Of course, this cannot be done with every single thing that comes into my life, I am still a person of passion.  This is the overall attitude I am choosing to adopt. Some will criticize and say, "Complacency is never good." or "You cannot change who you are." I say a big blah, blah, blah. I am ready to sit back and relax. This will not apply to every arena in my life. I am not confident that I can change that much. ;) I will say though, my overall attitude is to be one of peace. I long for it and ache for it. I just want peace.

Come on 2009, bring it. I am ready for it and I am going to kick back and apply the lessons learned in 2008. Here they are: I cannot change what I do not control. I control very little. I need to rely on others for I am not self sufficient. I need to not only speak of love but show love in everything I do and say. I am a child of God and no one thing and no one person can take that away from me. God loves me and has forgiven me! Why not act like it? If I am tired, lie down. If my house is not spotless, more likely than not, I am the only one noticing it. If my kiddos say, Mommy come play-- I should go play. If my honey says, let's just be-- then let's just be. I do NOT need to be "going" or "doing" every second of every day-- I am ready to slow down. I am not sure I will feel this way every day of 2009.  I want peace and love and happiness in my life and they are all choices-- so I am choosing it. Step aside mean-ness, ugliness, and hatred... I don't have time for you. I will love as God loves, and when I don't, I hope that I find a gentle reminder to show me that I am not right.

I have really enjoyed my week this week. I have spent the mornings cleaning inside the house and the afternoons getting dirty outside. Someday I may have a digital camera to post some pics but for now you will have to use your mind's eye to imagine the beauty I am beginning in my front and back gardens. We have a kitchen window over one of our kitchen sinks and in front of that I have planted a semi-circle shade bed that is greens and pinks-- it is all perennial shrubby tree things and actually is magnificent to look at despite my horrible description here. In the front of the bed to give it some flower I planted double impatiens-- my absolute favorite. We do have a fenced in yard and I have been working to cover up the nasty fence-- so in doing that I have planted numerous creepers- 4 greens with white flowers that are from the jasmine family. I split them into twos evenly spaced and all that good stuff and in the middle of them I have a verigated bouganvilla. Interspersed with the creepers-- in front of them that is-- I have planted hydrangea and verigated spikes. I planted jasmine bushes on either end and added a touch of blue with some plumbago. It is looking fantastic-- my description does not do justice. Anyway, this week I have spent the week getting all the grass out of the beds and edging them with cement scallops. Last year we had planted our own little citrus grove with an orange tree, a lemon tree, and a pink grapefruit tree. We harvested 4 oranges last season, no grapefruit, no lemons. This year there are many more blossoms as the trees are growing and they are looking fantastic. I will be happy to have a few more oranges and maybe a lemon and a couple of grapefruit. Next year I am hoping to plant a comquat tree and two guava trees. I have actually started a mini- garden as well!! I am so excited about this and hopefully it will work out. I bought seed packets for the veggies we eat most in hopes of planting a successful garden. I put them in seed trays yesterday with the girls, and friend of mine, and her daughter. I checked on them today-- nothing yet. Silly me, I know better, but I just want to see progress quickly. ;) Anywho, the front garden is taking off nicely as well. We moved one of our palm trees and have planted a lot of reds and purples. It is looking fantastic. I was considering putting in a water feature until I saw another cottonmouth the other day. Water features are out for this girl as those snakes are drawn to water. I would love to write about the front garden but I will do about as much justice as I have done the back. I am going to leave it for now and look for a digital camera to get some nice photos to post. Hope everyone else is enjoying the beauty of spring and the warmth that it brings!!  80s all week for us and we may even hit 90!! Yippee hot weather here I come.